OUR MARITAL HEALTH/SEX AND PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIVING: FOR LOVE AND MONEY
May 18th, 2009 | Posted by admin | Category: General healthNo Comments
You would think we would be able to deal with money. There isn’t much of it anyway. We spend more minutes on money than we have money. I wish we got paid to worry about money. We’d be rich.
HUSBAND
There are several books that trace the relationship between love and managing money. Carol Colman’s book Love and Money explores some of the patterns that evolve in marriage related to financial issues. Money seems to be the great quantifier of worth in our society and even in our marriages. Earlier in this chapter you read about the man who had sexual problems because of his wife’s higher salary. Several of the couples reported problems in this area.
Here are some of the adjustments couples made to issues of money and sex. Discuss these and the other problem remembering that super marital sex is a process, not a goal.
The Banker: This spouse feels that his or her entire self-esteem is measured by his or her control of the family finances. He or she controls the checkbook, saving books, all shopping, buying, allowances, and investments and seems to get more enjoyment out of a balanced checkbook than a balanced love life. Super marital sex cannot survive if partners exclusively assume any one marital task.
The Client: This is the spouse who is married to the Banker. He or she may criticize the lack of money, poor investments, missing checks, the size of the grocery bill, but make little effort to share the financial responsibility. The Client defaults financially, and so ends up defaulting sexually, feeling unfulfilled but helpless to correct the problem because the spouse “is responsible.”
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